Paul from Simon & Shuster
I would like to tell you all a little story about an Author (who would happen to be me ) and was invited to sign her Galley’s ( Which happened to be of Once Wicked Always Dead) at one of the largest book shows in the world and had the worst misshap or should I say nightmare imaginable.
First I would like to take you back to the very beginning. It all started last Wedesday when my husband ( who by the way travels everywhere with me, because not only is he such good company, but also incredibly good looking and is one of my best accessories.) happily checked in at the Roosevelt in Mid Town, Manhattan. My Daughter who is a high Fashion Model just happened to be looking for a Condo and asked us to check out an area that she liked, which was aproximatly 15 min. walking distance from where we were staying. So being the loving, caring and fabulous parents that we are, we dropped off our luggage and happily started off on our journey in 95 degree temp hand in hand. ( The hand and hand thing lasted about a half a block, due to the sweaty palm thing. We couldn’t keep our grasp.) Anyway, we were in great moods and I was really doing a good job not allowing myself to complain to Kirk about how the city and it’s sidewalks smelled like a mixture of urine and spit due to the basking sun. ( I know we live in Florida where it is ungodly hot, but at least the humid air smells like Jasmine, Orange Blossoms, and Magnolias.) As we were walking I happened to spy a woman of ethnic descent walking towards us and thought to myself how odd, she has her shirt raised over her bra and her bra is pulled down exposing her breast. Now mind you I know it’s extremely hot out but she is just happy as can be walking along, fully exposed and the streets are filled with people who are just trucking along like they don’t even see her. She happily passes us by without a care in the world and I can’t help but crack up as I look at my husbands face. It was classic, one of those times in your life that you will never forget. I nudged him and with a laugh I said
“In New York you don’t even have to throw beads at them” ( I also made a mental note to use this incedient in one of my books, and you guys wonder how I come up with these Characters.)
After that things just went downhill, that night we scooted away to have a nice dinner at Angelo’s in little Italy. I had my usual Martini, up, dry, with olives ( which by the way was extremely yummy.) We finished our dinner and I had a glass of Chianti which was still half full. A lovely couple had sat down beside us who we started chatting with. I soon found out that they were there for the Book Expo and was with Simon & Shuster. We were happily conversing when it happened, understand that I am part Italian, from my mothers side and I can not help but talk with my hands. ( you know where this is going) I guess I must have really been into what I was saying because the next thing I know I’m knocking over my glass of deep red wine spilling it all over the white linen tablecloth and splashing it upon the wall. Since I was completely sober (ok maybe 90% sober) I simply flashed a smile, shruged my shoulders and moped it up. ( This is one of the benefits of being a woman, we can use our womanly ways when needed.)
Let’s now jump ahead to the next morning, shall we? I awoke fresh and egar to head off to greet my fans. ( Well that is a little bit of a white lie, as I had been up pretty much of the night worried that no one would even show up at my booth to get an autographed copy. I mean what if I was to sit there for a full hour and not one person came by.) By this time my husband was a little nervous for me, but I was maintaining my composure and appeared cool as a cucumber. I told him don’t worry talking to people, signing books, lectures anything to do with people is my cup of tea. Wanting to look like an appropriate author ( whatever the heck that means) I took my time dressing and extra care applying my makeup and doing my hair. With my saintly husband anxiously awaiting, I was finally ready to make my great debut. We head downstairs to our awaiting car which was to take us to our great event. When it happened, we got the call, or should I say Kirk got the call. I could tell by his face, and his words, it wasn’t good. He hung up the phone and he turns to me while trying to keep his composure and says ” You’re Galleys never arrived, you have nothing to sign.”
“What do you mean, I have nothing to sign?” I guess I had to repeat his words hoping I misunderstood, or he was going to tell me he was joking. Not a chance, I had nothing to sign. I came all the way from Florida and all I had to sign was the eight Galley’s that my savior, who is my husband brought with us just in case. Let me tell you we walked into that place and I was not happy, but I didn’t have much time to think about being angry as I had to go into damage control, and this we did. We placed the eight books that we brought on the table. My posters where hung of my Novel, and we placed one of the Galleys on the rack along with the other books. A half an hour before I was actually scheduled to start people began flooding in. I whole heartedly spewed out my apologies, while promising to take their name and address and send them their autograph copy as soon as I hit my home. In one hour I had well over one hundred names and address of people actually wanting my Galley. I had never met such wonderful people from all over the world as I did that day! The next day I flew home, my son had signed for the several cases of Galleys which Atlas Books had Fed Ex over night from their warehouse. I happily spent my Memorial weekend signing each galley while thinking of each person that would receive it. ( Of course Atlas paid for all the shipping cost, which came to well over five hundred dollars. I had to charge them, just so they would remember this for next time and not make that mistake again.)
So all in all, what could have been the worst tragedy for any author turned out to be a huge success. Lesson in life, like the old wise man said, ” When life throws you lemons, make lemonade” and after sending out all those books I think a nice cold glass of Lemonade, smelling the Jasmine and sitting out by our pool is exactly what I am going to do.
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